….but what about Grace?

The title of my blog is Coffee, Grace and Joy. Coffee is clear…I am a mum of 3…coffee is LIFE. Joy is something that people may find in everyday things like coffee, like thermomixing, like blogging. But what about Grace?

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”

Reinhold Niebuhr

What does Grace mean for me?

I used to have the above quote up on the wall of my room. The addition of the word grace was only made in the 1951 version of this quote but to me it changes the meaning of the serenity prayer somewhat.

To me, grace means making a choice in every relationship in your life. With your children, with your partner, your co-worker, your fellow mum on the playground.

It means forgoing the knee jerk reaction to be petty and cruel because my feelings have been hurt or because I feel betrayed. It’s so easy to fight fire with fire, to hurt back so that the other knows what it feels like. But this is not living with grace. This does not give me joy. Being graceful and living gracefully means allowing grace to supersede these emotions. It means letting go of things that were not meant for me. Most of all living a life of a grace means choosing to be the bigger person and letting go of hurt and feelings of revenge.

Now I see what you are thinking, sure these words sound good but how do you practice this in daily life? When BIG hurts happen? When you are betrayed by someone close? Trust me, living with grace does not come naturally to me, there are still times when all I want to do is hurt the world like it has hurt me. But inevitably in those moments when I let go of grace and embrace revenge I am left feeling cold and empty. It doesn’t serve me in any way to watch someone else suffer no matter how much they have hurt me. I often need to remind myself that living and letting go with grace is what brings me closer to feeling peace and serenity in my soul, to be ok with myself.

This is encapsulated in a a scene from my favourite movie You’ve Got Mail.  Where Meg Ryan’s character professes to saying something nasty to Tom Hanks character and then writes about how it made her feel awful even if it was well deserved….

Watch it here: You’ve Got Mail Scene

What does Grace mean for you?

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